The Bad News: People Still Suck…

I thought I’d heard somewhere that this was an age of over-protective super moms?

Lower Delaware has not gotten the memo, I guess. We usually don’t.

We’re at a small Waterpark thing surrounded by parking lot, next to a busy highway. There are go-cart tracks, pools, and water slides. It’s kind of a cool place. But you really, really need to watch your kids. I mean even just the normal amount would be nice, you don’t have to be a helicopter but…you know. Danger and stuff.

Dear Ms. Lady,

You’re welcome for saving your toddlers life just now. I’m sure you meant to say thanks or something but I understand that trying to pull off a bra as a bikini top is probably a full time job. It’s cool. Just glad your kids still breathing. Good luck.

Dear Waterpark Owners,

Hey I get it. I mean, Hub and I also struggle with small businesses of our own. And we don’t even have employees! However, I’m not sure you know this but…neither do you.

They suck, dude. We had gift cards for the kids or else we’d never be here because you made Hub and I pay full price ($70) to basically keep our kids (and a few others) alive in here. Your 15 yr old lifeguards were too busy with their iPhones to notice.

…Until 20 mins before closing when a few of them went yelling around the pool area about how the place was closed and we all needed to get out. We did not get out. Neither did anyone else. A family of four pays $150 to play there for the day. You can be sure we got every minute of it.

I got screamed at a second later at the concession stand for the same reason. Just sayin.

Also your parking lot is full of dirty diapers, broken glass, and even a hypodermic needle, also smashed. I told myself it was for insulin and made sure my kids didn’t see it but I can’t speak for the other 6-10 yr olds wandering the lot. Alone.

Signed my name on your bench though. You’re welcome.


So did my kid. I took a picture so you’d know which one was me. Might be hard to find since the place was covered in graffiti.


This piece of artwork, though, I cannot take credit for. And if a kid is big enough to play mini golf, he’s big enough to read this. Just sayin.

I didn’t take pictures of all the trash in the water (and…everywhere) because magically my family didn’t see it and I wanted to keep it that way. I will say that we got there only 30 mins after opening and the place was filthy. Like…really. it’s kind of a smallish place, bro, and for the price I think you really need to get on that. Have some self respect.

The employee thing…listen I don’t have all night. But if I did, I could really say some stuff here. My brother worked for you last year and quit after a month because “It was stupid.” He’s 17 so that’s all I got out of him except the fact that he was paid $10.50 an hour to…be stupid apparently. That’s a damn decent wage for a teenage kid. Make em earn it. It’s good for em.

Maybe…I dunno…show up once in a while to keep em straight. I’m assuming you don’t get over there much, by the looks of things. I get that. Maybe a manager or two over the age of 18…?

You’re giving us all a bad name, too. Read the news, my friend. If you don’t haul ass to keep this small business of yours, they are going to take it. They’ve started to already. Don’t make me glad to see you go.

Whew. Ok. Switchin off bitch mode now. Held that in all day for the kids sake but…yeah.

…oh well. At least I looked pretty.





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