I can’t sleep without Hub so while I wait I think I’d like to completely overanalyze something totally stupid because sometimes I find that amusing. Here it is.

I confessed to watching old Top Model episodes on Hulu while I work. I totally misuse it of course because I couldn’t care less about what the show is really about (…is it about anything, though?) so I kinda just indulge in a lofty view of the whole thing and get a few laughs. I do like the part at the end with the professional photos. The photographers are legit.

The thing is that everybody shows up with this story of this horrible childhood (their all about 18-24) and most claim to have been homeless.

I’ve never been homeless. I will not presume to know what it’s like. But…my childhood revolved around the struggle to survive and I think maybe a life on the street would have that in common. I can say that for me, survival was about literally that. You gotta find food and a place to sleep and then you wake up and do it again.

I didn’t dream of the future because frankly…who cares? You’re kinda busy with, you know, surviving. It’s kind of a full time gig.

But these kids, and there’s a shocking amount of them that claim this, all say that they dreamed of modeling the whole time and that they’re on this show to turn their lives around forever. Lotsa tears.

I just…eh…don’t buy it. I know every experience is different and just because I wasn’t deep enough to dream when life was such a daily train wreck, that other people may have been able to do that. Personally I find that survival mode is animalistic and the jungle cares not for high fashion but…whatever.

And it’s not really something I openly talk about. Especially not on loop, on national television. And tears? Never. That’s just me though.

Also…are they all coached upon arrival to assume such obnoxious “I’m the shit” attitudes or…what? Because they literally go around repeating it constantly. All of em it kinda blows my mind.

And then there’s Tyra. I remember her from moms Victoria Secret mags. I liked her because she was the only one that was actually pretty. Just a lil girls point of view of course. She became kind of a joke because of this show but I think she’s just genuinely goofy. And she truly loves those kids. It shows if you can cut through all the mess of the show.

She’s a damn good photographer too. Never knew that.

One of her judges though…this ex super model. I don’t know her name…she’s gorgeous of course but I’m not a fan. She’s the queen of the back handed compliment. The epitome of Bitch, to be honest.

The kids are obnoxiously cocky but they are just teenagers. She’s gotta be in her 40s and she’s tearing these kids down knowing damn well that she needn’t have bothered. It’s all for show. It’s kinda disgusting. She even somehow gave a girl a gift back handedly! Impressive I guess but holy cow lady. Have a drink or something. Therapy maybe.

Maybe it’s the editing but they do seem to confuse the hell out of those kids. Complimenting something one day and tearing them down for it the next. One chick left the show a budding alcoholic because her lil nerves were shot. I might sue em if I was her mama.

Just sayin.



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