Spooked

“So I’m home alone and terrified of the moth man.”

Thank God for cellphones and sisters. I went on to test my mother with this information, to which she replied

“Don’t worry. You have a gun. ”

Which is fascinating because I do not in fact have a gun. Even if I did, I have to assume that I would not be the first person to try this. The moth man first appeared in West Virginia sometime in the 60’s. I’m guessing he was fired upon at least once.

My mother is like a fortune cookie. Sometimes you get something worthy of being taped to the fridge, sometimes you have to assume she’s forgotten to whom she was speaking.

I do have a tiny, expired bottle of pepper spray. However moth man is supposed to be around 6 feet tall and I am only 5’1. I’d never in a million years hit those awful glowing eyes, especially in a panic. I might hit my own eyes.

I sat on it once and sprayed my bottom pretty bad. Other than that…

“I just know that mofo is gonna get me one day. Tell my story, Sam. Tell my story.”

So there it is.

I’m sure there are plenty of more realistic things to be afraid of but my brains have chosen this.

Maybe I can find the movie on iTunes…

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